LeBlanc Is Gonna Kill Me
by Blood Everlasting
Summary: One-Shot, Nooj/Yuna pairing from the High Summoner's POV. Funny little fluff piece, not for LeBlanc/Nooj fans, hope you enjoy.


I cringed when I realized what this meant. _LeBlanc is going to kill me._ But it's not like I _planned_ on falling for Nooj! Honest!

It had been two years since Vegnagun and I had long since accepted that my Sphere Hunting goal was never, and would never be, accomplished. I spent a good portion of my time with the Youth League, working as an ambassador of sorts. I guess "Savior of Spira Twice Over" as a self-descriptor tended to open doors which would otherwise remain shut. But it was a good job. Helping so many in need. It was incredible seeing what all my hard work had accomplished in these many months.

"I knew I'd find you here. You work almost like I did back when this whole thing began. Like the work is the only thing keeping you sane." I jumped at first before plastering a fake smile and turning to face the current reason I was working myself half to death the past two weeks. I'd been avoiding him and completely burying myself in work.

"I'm almost done. I just wanted to finish yesterday's repair orders for Rikku and Gippal." I said, avoiding making a comment on his observation altogether.

"I thought those were completed this morning?" He frowned and walked over to me, peeking over my shoulder at said order.

After swallowing my heart back down into my chest where it tripped over itself in its haste to beat in quadruple time, I replied as calmly as I could: "Elma had to tend to Clasko. He got kicked in the head again."

At his surprised laugh I couldn't help my returning grin. "Why hasn't he gotten rid of that evil thing?" He chuckled, referring to Clasko's prized _green_ chocobo. Yeah. Apparently they come in a variety of colors and mating them creates more variety. I didn't even _care_ but it was nice to see the featherbrained boy do something that made him happy for once.

"He loves Oscar. And he doesn't care _how_ grouchy he is." I giggled.

"Or how accurate his kicks are. Maybe that's why he keeps him. He forgets after every blow." He muttered thoughtfully before shaking his head as if to clear it. "I'm beginning to worry about any lasting effects." He groaned, rubbing his temples.

I couldn't stop the smirk. "Headache?" I asked sweetly. He grumbled under his breath when I pulled a headache relieving potion from my desk, hopping up on it to watch as he grudgingly drank it down. "Quit whining!" I laughed, swinging my legs. He hated pain relievers. Some sort of self-flagellation, him feeling unworthy. Undeserving. Which was utter crap.

He looked genuinely affronted, his long, sharply angled, aristocratic face portraying his insult perfectly. I laughed again. "I was _not_ whining." He grit out.

"Muttering, then." I conceded, smiling when he scowled. _LeBlanc is going to kill me if she ever finds out how I feel about him._ Sighing, I hopped to the floor, stamped the order forms and initialed the last spot before reaching out and squeezing his right hand, his flesh hand. It was so warm and callused from all his hard work and nearly made me weak-kneed. "You've got to stop acting like you need to punish yourself. You deserve peace, too… I'll, uh, I'll see you later. Have a good night."

"Yuna…" He murmured as I walked out. I pretended I hadn't heard and let the door swing shut behind me.

As I walked to my quarters from HQ, I mentally berated myself. Maybe I should hand deliver those order forms… It'd be nice to see my cousin again. Maybe take a couple days off and talk to her. See what she thinks about my conundrum.

"There you are, love. Have you seen my Noojie-woojie?" LeBlanc asked in her irritating baby talk that I can't believe Nooj hasn't asked her to stop speaking in. He had the patience of a saint. I wondered why, when he clearly was irritated with her, that he didn't stop her from hanging all over him and crooning to him.

 _What the hell is she doing here at this time of night?_

I briefly debated on whether or not I should tell her. Feeling very… _un_ accommodating, I lied. "I'm sorry, LeBlanc, I haven't seen him. Have you tried asking Lucil?" I put on my sweetest smile. It seemed to work as she bemoaned the lack of Nooj's company and left to search out the second in command of The Youth League. I stared after her in amused amazement.

 _What must it be like to live in your own little world like that?_ I thought as she disappeared from sight.

I rolled my eyes and patted the pockets of my Gunner shorts for my keys. I kept the outfit but changed the top to a blue and white halter tank top that matched the half-skirt on my side. I'd cut off my braid but kept the rest of my hairstyle I wore back in my Sphere Hunting days with the Gullwings.

Sighing heavily, I pulled my key free of the tiny pocket and started to walk again when a machina hand landed on my shoulder, startling me. "Thank you for sparing me." Nooj's voice sounded amused. I turned slowly to look at him as he continued, "I can't help but find myself asking: _why_?"

 _Oh crap. This crush on him is making it really hard to not_ appear _to have this crush on him._ I grumbled internally. I tried to shrug and look as uncaring as possible. "You already had a headache. I figured- why make it worse?" _Oh my gosh, Yuna, seriously?!_ I berated myself. _Is hiding your attraction to Nooj really worth making it look like you hate LeBlanc? … … …yes. Because I_ do _hate her. … …oh yeah._

Nooj seemed alarmed. "I… I didn't realize you disliked her so much."

I sighed, eyes heavenward. "I've gotten to know the _real_ LeBlanc and I have no respect for her whatsoever."

"I admit, she's a bit obnoxious but she's not a bad person." He defended, causing me to snort in derision.

"Yeah, well, maybe that's because I have more information than you." I muttered turning away. "Look… it's late. I'm tired. I'll see you later." I said, feeling sad.

His warm natural hand gripped my arm gently and turned me back to face him before I could bolt. "Yuna." He said quietly. His voice had my heart tripping over itself again and a strange tightness gripping just below my stomach. When he leaned down to look me in the eye, my own widened and my breath hitched.

 _Is he… is he going to_ kiss _me?!_ I thought in a panic as his face moved a little closer to mine.

"What information?" He continued in dulcet tones, his warm hand sliding up my arm and resting on my shoulder. I was staring at his lips. I shouldn't do that.

"What information?" I parroted blankly. Breathing was becoming difficult. Was there less air than I remembered? Have people always breathed this way?

His beautiful mouth quirked in a smile at my response. My breath hitched again. "What do you know," he said slightly slow, "about LeBlanc that causes you to scowl like you were?"

"She's a fraud." I answered without thinking. _Damn his voodoo lips!_

"A fraud? How so?" he asked, startled.

 _CHEATER! Using your voodoo sex magic for information!_ Then that warm hand slid from my shoulder to the back of my neck, cupping the base of my skull, his fingers carding through my hair. "She pays her employees to say nice things about her." I blurted. _DAMN IT! … … …well, in for a gil…_ I reasoned, not caring anymore. "I thought at first, _Oh well. She's just misunderstood. See how much those who work for her love her?_ And then it turns out that her application process involves testing their best ASS KISSING abilities! She only chooses the most desperate of applicants so that way, when she shorts them on their earnings from one of her obscene Luca shopping trips, they don't complain because she keeps them fed with a roof over their heads." I threw my hands in the air in exasperation. "So, yes. To answer your question, I really _do_ dislike her that much. Because if there's nothing in it for her, she doesn't care, no matter how much her help could have made a difference."

A memory of LeBlanc backing away slowly from a pier had me curious at the time what she was backing away from. When I was close enough, I saw a small child flailing in the water, clearly drowning. AND SHE WAS JUST GOING TO LEAVE HER TO DROWN! "What's it got to do with me, love?" She had asked after I had saved the little girl and demanded to know why she hadn't done anything.

Another memory of Calli telling me all about her interview with LeBlanc's Syndicate came to mind. "She asked all sorts of awful and weird personal questions. And if we didn't sound sincere enough in our praising, she'd dismiss you immediately." Calli told me when I'd run into her helping Clasko at the Chocobo Ranch. She also told me about how some of the employees complained quietly to each other only when they were inside the Chateau. And what they complained about. Short visit, huge learning opportunity. I had been every bit disgusted with her for abandoning a child to die when she could have easily saved her.

Once shared, that information was no longer a burden I bore alone. Nooj looked like he was fighting so many emotions but I had told him… kept telling him. I told him everything I knew. And I felt strangely relieved. He followed me home, coming in behind me and locking the door as though he lived here, too.

It irritated me but not enough for me to make a big deal about it. I offered him a beverage and he accepted, taking the beer gratefully as he sat in the middle of my sofa. _No matter where I chose to sit, I'd be right next to him. Damn._ _Guess I'm standing._ I thought and took a slug from my own brew.

"Aren't you going to sit?" He asked curiously, a knowing look in his eyes. Letting out a shuddering breath, I sat to his left and waited, not knowing what else to say. "I wanted to ask you a question or two and then I promise to get out of your hair."

 _How about into my bed?_ My brain supplied hopefully. "What did you want to know?"

"Am I just not obvious enough or are you just that oblivious?" He asked in amusement, turning to me.

" _What_?" I asked confused. "That doesn't even make sense!" I complained in exasperation.

"Maybe a bit of both then." He said and smiled.

Practically gagging on my heartbeat, I quickly finished my beer and realized I needed to eat so I didn't make myself sick.

"I think maybe I should make myself clearer, don't you?" He asked. I nodded, sighing in relief. All these questions were confusing me. Then suddenly my face was cupped in both of his hands and his mouth was softly covering mine. He pulled back only enough to speak against my lips. "Have I made myself clear?"

"Crystal." I breathed. He kissed me chastely again, though with more pressure this time.

When he sat back, my eyes slowly fluttered back open. "I've missed you." He murmured and I blinked, not understanding. "You've been avoiding me for a couple of weeks." He pointed out. "I thought… maybe you noticed how I felt for you and was uncomfortable but too polite to say anything." He looked a little unsure.

"No, I didn't notice. I was too wrapped up in realizing how _I_ felt for _you_." I admitted, my face suffused with a blush.

He smiled but looked confused. "Then why hide? Why not pursue it?"

I glared at him and that wiped his smile from his face. "How was I supposed to do that? LeBlanc was around all the time and you never discouraged her hanging all over you. I wasn't entirely sure if you were interested in her or what." I stopped when he pressed his fingertips against my lips.

"Well, now you know better." He said with that sexy voodoo mind controlling smile.

"Yeah…" I sighed and shook my head to clear it. "So, what happens now?" I asked, still unsure.

His smile turned into a smirk. "Now, as in the philosophical pondering of how cause and effect may determine the course of the universe as we know it; or 'now' as in you and I in the next five minutes?"

Finally catching on for the better, I threw my head back and laughed. "Pick your favorite and run with it."

He leaned down again. "I like the idea of you and I in five minutes."

Smiling and stopping his lips from covering mine with a hand on his chest, I said, "I like the idea of you and I right _now_." I moved my hand while simultaneously pressing my mouth to his. Groaning, he pulled me to him in such a way that I somehow wound up straddling him. There was only one thought in my head before my mind went deliciously blank at the feel of his tongue on mine.

 _LeBlanc is gonna kill me._


End file.
